You can't trust yourself.

Oh my gosh.

Here's what lesson I learned tonight: You can't run your own life.
Have you ever noticed that just when you think you have everything figured out, something happens, and suddenly you realize, you really have no control at all. And you never have. ?
Yeah. Hey there, wake up call.

So I guess you could say that I'm pretty much a control freak when it comes to my life. I want to be in charge of every aspect. I want to have everything run like clockwork, as in, the way I think that it should.
But then there's God. He's God. He's bigger than me by leaps and bounds and more leaps and bounds... and He knows EVERYTHING. He made everything. He's God. And there's nothing I can do about it!! I know that surely I could never be God, so why do I try?

Tonight I was really struggling with worrying what I was getting at with this whole music thing, as well as worrying about what people might think of me, and all sorts of random mish-mashed worries.
All the while, I knew what was up. I'd tried to regain control over my life. As if "okay, thanks for fixing everything for me, Lord, I'll let you know when I screw it up again" Here's the thing, it took me all of one weekend to be pushed back to a pitiful, faith-lacking, emo-ish kid. Clearly, I can't run my own life. I can't trust myself.

So I realized all this and figured I needed to look in the bible, because in previous situations I've done this and right there was the verse I needed. And yet again, there it was!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight" -Proverbs 3:5-6

This is how I kinda intepreted that verse in my head: "Trust in the only one worth trusting in, and get over yourself. Don't just kind of trust. Go all out. Then you'll get somewhere"

It's incredible how God is so involved in my life, it's like over this short period of time, I subconsciously thought maybe he "wasn't looking" or something. Nope! He was rrrrriiiggghhhtttt there, and He always will be.
Also including those times when I feel lost and alone, I'll know that I'm not. I always have a hand to hold, and if that's not comfort, there is no such thing.

Chelsea