Monday, March 19, 2012

A Testimony

Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Chelsea. Chelsea was a very quiet little girl, in fact, some adults who thought they were being just hilarious would sometimes ask her "Do your parents even know what your voice sounds like??"
Chelsea had a typical little-girlhood. She did her school work, she played with her friends, she argued with her big brothers.

When Chelsea was about 13, she decided she wanted to become healthier, so that she could be pretty like other girls. Because, obviously, then people would like her more. She could hang out with the cool girls, and be appreciated.

When Chelsea was 14 she was healthy, capable, and discontent. She'd made progress, but thought she could do better. Surely she could do better. She'd adopted the mindset that she could handle anything if she was strong enough, and if she wasn't strong enough, she wasn't good enough, if she wasn't good enough.. well, that couldn't happen. Because she was determined to be strong enough. Being strong required enduring painful things. Chelsea became hard hearted, and stopped allowing herself to feel emotions, or make anything of anything that could become an emotion.
And all the while, she thought she was building herself up, becoming stronger.

On a summer night when she was 15, Chelsea and her mom and brother sat together in their living room.
Chelsea's mom had tears in her eyes.
Chelsea's brother waved his arms, desperately trying to make a point.
Chelsea made sure her sleeve was covering the bruise on her arm, and tried to make sense of this.
Was this true? Was she really sick, or were they just over sensitive?
That was the night Chelsea became aware of exactly how badly she had messed up.

As soon as possible after that, she and her parents went to the doctor... where Chelsea was officially diagnosed anorexic, and at least 20 pounds underweight for the average 15 year old of her height and build.

The following year was one filled with doctors appointments, nutritionist visits, meal plans, a whole lot of writing and music, painful realizations, and finally, surrender.

For the first time in her life, Chelsea had to rely completely on God to even keep her alive. She'd been informed that her heart could have been very damaged by the lack of nutrition and how hard she'd worked it.
She had to rely on God to help her resist doing things to harm herself further.
She had to rely on God to bring her back to life.

That year Chelsea learned a lot about relying on God, she experienced incredible peace like she'd never felt before, she grew closer to God and found out that the more she trusted Him, the better things got. And whenever she tried to take things into her own hands, it fell apart.
That year Chelsea's whole life turned completely around.

Sometime after she turned 16, Chelsea realized her life was not her own. It belonged to the Lord, and she decided that it must be dedicated to serving Him wherever, whenever, however possible.

I know it's not really a pleasant story. But it's absolutely true.
I think it's beautiful, because it's proof of how it is vital that God is the one in charge of one's life.
I am so very grateful for the family and friends God blessed me with... there were so many times I just didn't think I could get through it, but there was always someone there to encourage me, especially God himself. Talk about the ultimate comfort.
God provided the most healing of moments.
He provides the most inspiring of moments.

ahhh I just love Him!!!

My life is not my own.
I hope and pray that it will be used all for His good and not mine, because good grief! It's not about me.
It's about Him, all of it. Everything.
It's all His.
I'm just a little thing with a voice, which I want to use to make a joyful, grateful, God-pleasing, God-glorifying, noise.

Every time I think about how far He's brought me, I just can't even believe it. But it's the truth, which is what puts the Awe in the "Awesome God" I now strive to live for.

So, I just thought I'd give you the background story. That's where I'm coming from.


Monday, March 12, 2012

Things Worth Checking Out

I know there's some of you who mentioned that you were eager to read part two of the Gideon post, but you're going to have to wait! :) because said Gideon post is a very time consuming post to write. However, I realized that it's been a while since I last posted and figured I should probably post something, if only to let you know that I'm still alive ;)
So I thought I'd let you in on a few things that really have been speaking to me lately, and just have been nice little boosts to my days.
Two of which are songs.

Song #1 that you should listen to is:
Any Other Way by Tenth Avenue North
I absolutely adore Tenth Avenue North, because their songs are written in such a way that anyone listening to the lyrics will just be drawn in and spoken to. This particular song has been one of my go-to songs recently because it's simply beautiful. I love the lyrics in the ending of the song "you needed my hurt, you needed my pain, it's not love any other way" That hits me hard, every single time. It's just too true! Where would I be if Jesus hadn't endured the pain I deserve? Yikes!

Song #2 that you should listen to:
Afterglow by Nine Lashes
This one takes some careful listening to, I think. I wasn't obsessed with the song until I got what they were really saying. Basically, there are many situations in life that we lose someone that we're close to, one way or another. Friends come and go, relationships end, family member's time on earth ends. And we end up feeling like a a giant chunk of our very being is absent.. and never coming back. It hurts. But what they're saying in the song is that no matter what, you're not alone. One of the lines is "God, fill the spaces left in me" (I think.. it's a new song, ok?) but that sinks in, and I really like the song. So check it out.

Okay and just one other thing.. it's a book. A very popular book for us young people. Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris. You may have read it (I know some of you have :P) But it's an amazing book with awesome challenges and new concepts for our generation and it deserves to be read, so if you haven't read it. puh-leeeaaassee do!

Okay I'm out of time!!
Listen to the songs if you have time, read the book if you have more time, haha!

Bye all!