A Testimony

Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Chelsea. Chelsea was a very quiet little girl, in fact, some adults who thought they were being just hilarious would sometimes ask her "Do your parents even know what your voice sounds like??"
Chelsea had a typical little-girlhood. She did her school work, she played with her friends, she argued with her big brothers.

When Chelsea was about 13, she decided she wanted to become healthier, so that she could be pretty like other girls. Because, obviously, then people would like her more. She could hang out with the cool girls, and be appreciated.

When Chelsea was 14 she was healthy, capable, and discontent. She'd made progress, but thought she could do better. Surely she could do better. She'd adopted the mindset that she could handle anything if she was strong enough, and if she wasn't strong enough, she wasn't good enough, if she wasn't good enough.. well, that couldn't happen. Because she was determined to be strong enough. Being strong required enduring painful things. Chelsea became hard hearted, and stopped allowing herself to feel emotions, or make anything of anything that could become an emotion.
And all the while, she thought she was building herself up, becoming stronger.

On a summer night when she was 15, Chelsea and her mom and brother sat together in their living room.
Chelsea's mom had tears in her eyes.
Chelsea's brother waved his arms, desperately trying to make a point.
Chelsea made sure her sleeve was covering the bruise on her arm, and tried to make sense of this.
Was this true? Was she really sick, or were they just over sensitive?
That was the night Chelsea became aware of exactly how badly she had messed up.

As soon as possible after that, she and her parents went to the doctor... where Chelsea was officially diagnosed anorexic, and at least 20 pounds underweight for the average 15 year old of her height and build.

The following year was one filled with doctors appointments, nutritionist visits, meal plans, a whole lot of writing and music, painful realizations, and finally, surrender.

For the first time in her life, Chelsea had to rely completely on God to even keep her alive. She'd been informed that her heart could have been very damaged by the lack of nutrition and how hard she'd worked it.
She had to rely on God to help her resist doing things to harm herself further.
She had to rely on God to bring her back to life.

That year Chelsea learned a lot about relying on God, she experienced incredible peace like she'd never felt before, she grew closer to God and found out that the more she trusted Him, the better things got. And whenever she tried to take things into her own hands, it fell apart.
That year Chelsea's whole life turned completely around.

Sometime after she turned 16, Chelsea realized her life was not her own. It belonged to the Lord, and she decided that it must be dedicated to serving Him wherever, whenever, however possible.

I know it's not really a pleasant story. But it's absolutely true.
I think it's beautiful, because it's proof of how it is vital that God is the one in charge of one's life.
I am so very grateful for the family and friends God blessed me with... there were so many times I just didn't think I could get through it, but there was always someone there to encourage me, especially God himself. Talk about the ultimate comfort.
God provided the most healing of moments.
He provides the most inspiring of moments.

ahhh I just love Him!!!

My life is not my own.
I hope and pray that it will be used all for His good and not mine, because good grief! It's not about me.
It's about Him, all of it. Everything.
It's all His.
I'm just a little thing with a voice, which I want to use to make a joyful, grateful, God-pleasing, God-glorifying, noise.

Every time I think about how far He's brought me, I just can't even believe it. But it's the truth, which is what puts the Awe in the "Awesome God" I now strive to live for.

So, I just thought I'd give you the background story. That's where I'm coming from.

Chelsea