Journal Entry no. 5 (Relationships)

Week 5- Relationships.

So this was the week to discuss all things relationship related.

We kicked off the week with an awesome lecture on 'the joy of singleness',

Which was really cool. Our speaker for that one was Letitia Shelton. she is the leader of many women's ministries here in Toowoomba.

She made the point that for many people, singleness is like an illness or something, they treat it as if it's going to kill them. They act out of desperation and end up wasting a bunch of time.

"Just stop worrying about it, and do something that matters!", she said.

Which I think is the perfect answer to the "woe is me, for I am single" mindset, because we tend to be so self-centered about it. If we put our time and effort into doing things for the good of our community and stuff, we'll automatically stop thinking so much about self and singleness.

Basically, what stuck with me from that lecture was: Being single may not be what you're aiming for, but if you are, so what? It's a season of life that God blesses in so many special ways. Make the most of it!

Then we moved on to relationship stuff.

We spent a good bit of time talking about the importance of forgiveness. (It's really important, guys) because you really shouldn't go into any relationship with a bunch of baggage.. When you do that, you end up passing it on to the other person, and you're both worse off than before.

So we talked a lot about that.

We also read in Ephesians 5, where it talks about how husbands and wives should act toward one another. Typically, you'd start thinking about the whole "husbands and wives" subject at verse 22, because that is where the "husbands and wives" heading is. But it was strongly suggested that we cross out the heading and start reading at verse 21, where it says "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ"

Because so often, the verse is misused to say that husbands can have complete control over their wives. I'll just say this: control and authority are two different things.

Authority is what the man ought to have, and he is instructed to use it in such a way that honors his wife. She, being blessed by this, ought to respect her husband. Which will give him more motivation to honor her. It's a never ending cycle, provided that both husband and wife submit themselves to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Makes sense to me.

We talked about the characteristics that a godly husband and godly wife ought to have.

The wife should be respectful, servant hearted, gentle, kind, honoring, and submissive. (Just to mention a few) she should look for ways to encourage her husband and support him in his efforts. She should be the one to keep the home in order and care for the children (of course, the husband has a major part in that, as well. But the wife is usually the one to take care of the immediate needs, like if the child is hungry).

The husband should love his wife so much that he's willing to give up everything for her. To lay down his life, you know? Like Christ did for us.

He should always be looking for what is most beneficial for his wife. He is the protector, he should be the one watching out for her and making sure that she's okay. He is the provider, he makes sure that his family is okay before doing anything else.

He has authority over his wife and children and will lead them in the way that is best for them.

The husband's list of responsibility goes on and on and on.

It's been interesting thinking about what qualities are found in a real man. There are so many guys out there who only care about themselves and what they want.

It makes me sick. 

I'm so thankful to know and interact with real gentlemen.

At my church at home, here at this DTS,

And of course, I've grown up in a family where my dad really is the head of the home and is a great example of what a real man is.

I guess this is why I've always known not to settle for 'just any guy'.

Naturally, this week has inspired many interesting discussions among us students.

After one such discussion, another girl told me that she loved that I know how I'm supposed to be treated as the girl, and will not settle for less.

This was awesome to hear... I just wish that we girls in general weren't so darn focused on attention and emotion and desire that we let ourselves forget our value and preciousness.

It would be so amazing if girls could be secure in who God made them to be and not try to fill the void for love with stupid things by making stupid decisions that end up hurting them.

Sorry for ranting. This is just something that really pushes my buttons.

So anyhow, there's my thoughts on relationships week.

Next week: Evangelism.

Totally different, right? We'll see how it goes!

Bye!

Chelsea