Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Australia. (Yeah, "whaaAa?")

What about Australia, Chels? You do realize Australia and Seattle have next to nothing in common, right? Chelsea, Australia is far away and irrelevant to your dreams.
Hey yeah, Chels, ...what's this about

Well. Let me tell you a story.

I'd never really thought that I'd be a missions type of girl. I mean, I had no desire to go on a missions trip until last Spring, I went on a trip to Jamaica. It was a missions trip, but it was more of a vacation, I went with a group called "Cruise with a Cause"
Here's what happened:
I went
I got bored on the ship
I got homesick
We got there
We did our day of missions
That was the best part

You would think lounging on the ship would be the more enjoyable part, but the truth is, that got old.
However, spending time singing and playing with special needs Jamaican children, was amazing.
So I came home and was content for a while. Every now and then I would think that maybe a bigger more missionsy-missions trip would be good. And for some reason, I decided that if I were to go on another, I should go to Australia. I have no idea why. There are plenty of other places that could have appealed to me more than Australia, but somehow that was always in the back of my mind whenever the subject of missions trips ever came up.
So last week, I was reading this book, and it said something about how we're supposed to go into the world and telllll people about God. And I got sooooo fired up, like in a good way. I was like "oh man oh man oh man, I have to get somewhere! I have to stop waiting for an opportunity. I have to get something started!!" So I randomly (to her) go out to my mom and go "I want to go on a missions trip... to Australia"
She was busy so I started looking stuff up. I found a couple options and eventually we called one of the organizations, which had a trip to Australia in July. They said they'd call us back on Tuesday so that if we had questions or whatever, we could fire away, then.
Yesterday came: No call. So we called them a while after the set time for their calling. (Ya followin' me here?) Apparently the guy that was going to call us longer employed there... so.. my mom was getting a little nervous, and some other things didn't really seem to look right for this organization. And so I was sad. My family was throwing out ideas of other trips I could go on, why did it have to be Australia? Surely I could go somewhere else. So they started looking up other trips, and I wandered back into my room and simply talked to God. I said that I knew He has an amazing plan for me, but I didn't know the details. I just asked Him to direct me to where I should be headed, and help me to follow willingly, wherever He leads. So like, 3 minutes after I'd gone in my room (if that) my mom calls "Chels, come look at this"
I go out, and see what's up.
She'd found this YWAM program/school/missions thing especially for musicians! It's missions completely focused on music. That's my deal, right there. Serving God with music. She's reading some info on it and she goes "Chelsea.. I think this is in Australia" It is. It's there. I don't know, for me this seems like "Theeerreee itttt issss!!!" but I have to remember to still be open for suggestion. Because God could still turn me in a completely different direction.
Otherwise, I'd love to go to this thing. It's a 5 month program so it would be a decent commitment, but it's so exciting to think that I could learn and grow in music and Christ, with a bunch of people who are passionate about this, too!

It is inevitable, that we move foward.
Though I may be blindfolded
as to the path that I take
I know that there is not one
I could stumble upon
that my hand will not be held
I will not be unsure of my step
because I have vision
through the hand that's guiding me.


Monday, January 9, 2012

Recent Occurances, and such.

So yeah this is pretty much just a lame, boring, post about what I've been up to. Since, I like, disappeared for a while. Not that anyone's reading my blog anyway. (Ah-hem: That was not a sad statement. I really don't care who reads this, it's just an "along the way" blog, so that I don't forget stuff)
My 2 hours a day of practice aren't as..consistent as they were. However, I haven't stopped making progress, so it's all good. I think what happened there was, I forced myself to do it through those countless hours, and now I'm okay enough at playing to actually enjoy it. This is my theory.
And besides, I was working soooo much over the holidays, I honestly didn't have a chance. BUT NOW. I do, and I fully intend to take my 2 and a half months of downtime from work, to build the skills, ya'll.

It's just that there are certain things here in PA, that I'm kind of attached to. (I have spent my entire life here, and all). And it seems like it could be so easy to give up the whole dream I have. Crazy, right?  But then I think about music, I think about what I could do for God. Don't get me wrong here. I am fully aware that I could be in Sweden, doing things for God, if that was where He placed me. I really do understand that. It's just that the whole music thing feels right. Part of me has wanted for it to not feel right when I think about that stuff, but I'm getting no negative feelings, signs, warnings. Right now it all just seems like a green light that I'm headed for, full speed ahead.

I can just imagine. A girl who barely knows her own mother, who hates herself, who doesn't get the point of life. Who on a daily basis rips herself apart, mentally and physically. How am I supposed to just let her go?
Or a child that's been taken away from everything he knew (even if it was poverty) and forced to be a slave.. just so that we can have some rice with our dinner. I can't get images of hurt people out of my mind sometimes. I feel the driving need to do something.
How? This could be insanely hard to accomplish. I mean, I'm not really extremely gifted in the musical areas. I do love it, and I'm learning, but my vocals are less than inspiring, I barely have a sense of rythm, and to put music together with all the parts and lyrics and.. ah! I'm going to need some help here.
That's where I find comfort. There's a reason for this feeling of right.
If this really is what God has for me, then I have no doubt that he'll work out the details.
And if it's not what He wants me to be doing, He'll work out the details.
He's not going to let me just float around in the world doing nothing, especially when I have the desire to serve Him.
I just wish I knew which way to turn, sometimes!!